It’s All About Our Debt

Have you ever seriously sat down and reviewed your debts? I’m not talking about your monthly bills or budget; I’m speaking of your debts to Humanity. These are the ones that involve the intervention and or guidance from you that involve a pay-it-forward act. These debts have been accrued over your lifetime…be it long or short. They are often unknowingly accrued during childhood and adolescent ages. They involve a special person or persons who at the time you need it most, intervenes or guides you, or sets an example, in such a way that leaves a positive life-long impact upon you. These are the regular everyday people with whom you interact, and most often are the unsung heroes silently working in the wings. You are who you are today because of their influence in your life.

No, I’m not talking about the gang-banging  type either, or those who prey upon the innocent. These are people who for some reason saw something shine in you that resonated with them and they took the time to guide or advise you, for purely no other reason than the fact that they genuinely cared. You can see them out in the community everyday. They always have a smile or kind word and always seem to have the time to listen or care. It could be a Teacher, a Neighbor, or even a Step-Parent or Step-GrandParent. These are who I speak of.

I have been so Blessed to have several in my life. One of them was my Step-Grandmother (she passed many years ago). She came along when I was in the 6th grade; Grams had some wonderful guidance for me, and I credit her for a lot of who I am today. She helped me to keep on the “straight and narrow” and taught me about the working dynamics of families, and why people react the way they do. She was also a fountain of knowledge on making it on her own and raising 2 children as a widow…she knew how to make ends meet when there was not much to work with. She also was very familiar about the dynamics of  being the Second Oldest Sister. When you are the second-oldest, you usually inherit your older siblings clothing and your younger sibling’s chores. You become the Care-taker, tending to the needs of those while passing through life silently…invisibly…that is unless you cut up and really do something stupid. There are advantages to being the second oldest, most of the time you don’t have to make the mistakes the oldest one does, to understand the consequences. And also if anything goes wrong…if you’re not the proverbial scape-goat… it’s the oldest who is responsible because they were the one left in charge…lol!

My Grams entered my life at a time that I really needed someones help and understanding. I was withdrawing into a shell due to the dynamics of our family. My older Sister has a very strong personality, is a very gifted artist, and has gorgeous red hair, that was at the time to die for in my eyes. Everyone is drawn to her automatically, she always seemed to have it together. My youngest Sister is a stunner that took your breath away…gorgeous blue eyes and deep dimples…and a natural clown to boot. You can never get the last word in with her. She can leave you rolling in the aisles with her antics and charms.  I was the skinny, gawky, nerd that always had her nose in a book. There were jokes that were made about the fact that maybe I was really trying hide my nose also because it was sooo big. I always seemed to talk too loud in a high whiney voice that grated quickly on everyone nerves. Or talked too much or asked the wrong questions at the wrong time. I hated being around large crowds, because I always didn’t know what to say or do…and was terminally afflicted with foot and mouth disease…that is until Grams. Though I still am afflicted with Foot-In-Mouth, I can forgive myself now.

The summer of 1967 was an especially bad summer for me. I had pulled some pretty bad attention-getting antics in school, and had humiliated not only myself, but brought a lot grief to my family because of it. Then on top of it, I came down with a severe case of chicken pox that had managed to get inside my eyelids, so I had to wear patches over my eyes and stay inside….I was miserable and lonely and blind for several weeks until it healed up. It gave me plenty of time to think about the consequences on what I had done.

My Grandfather was a widower, who had remained single for 32 yrs after the death of his wife…my Grandmother, on my Mothers side. That year he found someone special that just lit up his life….Grams. I had never seen him so happy. I never got to meet my real Grandmother as she had died when my Mother was 4 yrs old. He had gone out with several women, most were dates that ended up as just friends to him. But most when they met us, wanted nothing to do with us, other than a long-distance casual phone call. It was a rowdy loud household that we lived in.  But Grams was different, right from the get-go she jumped right in and dispensed hugs and kisses and tons of common-sense advice and help. She never minced her words either…you knew exactly where you stood with her… but she did so in such a way as to inspire you to do better.

 She asked my Mother for permission, that summer, to allow me to spend a couple of weeks with her after I had healed up from the chicken-pox. She had not only seen how tense the situation was between me and my family, but knew why it had happened and how to cure the majority of it. This wonderful Woman didn’t owe me a damn thing, and just could have walked away; but she didn’t. She graciously opened her home to me and taught me all about Grandmothers and their duties and a persons duty to their community. She talked about growing up with 13 other children in her family and she was also the second-oldest and also the second sister to boot! She understood that I was needing a friend and ally, someone who truly understood the skinny gawky nerd. Someone who needed some positive one-on-one interventions. She took me out shopping and told me she needed some outside opinions on renovating her bedroom and purchasing a new TV. That was when I found out about her love of Sea Foam Green and Soft Coral Pink. We spent a lot of time pouring over paint samples and she allowed me to make the final choice. We spent hours looking for just the perfect spread, narrowing down the choice to a Chenille in Soft pink Coral. Then it was picking out the curtains and the accessories, carefully asking my opinion and honestly listening to what I had to say. After all was purchased; we next prepped and painted the bedroom, and during that time she gently talked to me about what I had done and what I wished to do to make it right. She explained to me about the meaning of Honor and what it meant to utilize it and Truth in all my dealings. And talked about what her hopes and dreams were for me.  Next she gave me her address and phone number with permission to call her anytime collect, if I needed someone to talk to. The next thing really surprised me…she threatened to kick my butt personally if I did not excel in my school studies, and make something of myself. She made good on it a couple of times in my teen years! But she never stopped being my biggest fan or doubting I could ever do anything. She was present when I graduated with Honors from High School, and celebrated my victories and guided me through my defeats throughout the rest of my life. I don’t think I ever told her that I was also her biggest Fan or that she made a huge difference in my life.

This is the type of debt to Humanity that I speak of. I was honored to be able to pay-it-forward to my Step-daughter in a very small way, and knowing her character, she will do the same. But just because I had this chance to step in does not erase my debt. Grams taught me that my debt is my duty one that you don’t walk away from. We owe it to everyone to pay-it-forward on the positive side every chance we get. Our society is hurting  just as bad as I was then and desperately needs Grams sort of intervention. The one that says…”Hey I got your back, and I’m always here for you”. The smiles, the hugs, the straight-talk, and genuine one-on-one conversations  and encouragements and listening with your arms wide open. At this Solstice many of us are so poor we cannot afford store-bought gifts , but we have an un-tapped account to balance towards our debt to Humanity….all it takes is just reaching out and getting involved. Why not give the precious gift of involvement in your community? Now is your chance to honestly pay-it-forward and start paying off your debt.  There has been a critical shortage of recognition and appreciation for those who care… let alone involvement….it’s all about our debt, folks. Not only that…it really it our duty.

To all the Un-sung Heroes, and Fair Ones who walk in Human form, I give my Thanks and my Heartfelt Gratitude, this Holiday Season. I am truly humbled in your presence. To my Grams and all my Blessed Friends, Family and those who cared to walk a while as Guides…I Love You All. Keep on Smiling and Believing with arms wide open and an eye towards our debt. Peace and Blessings Everyone.

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