Mud Slinging Organically

Learning how to live once again on your own, for me, is like re-learning how to walk. All those  little things you take for granted, like always relying upon your partners presence and hands to assist you in meeting the goals and numerous chores that need to be done around the homestead, need to be relearned to be done by yourself, let alone the missing support system and companionship. I spend a lot of time these days talking, swearing, and yelling at myself and the empty air because I’m not as young as I once was and it takes me forever to do things, and after some delays they eventually get accomplished. And forget about it being pain-free as my arthritis is actively complaining in every one of my joints, but the activity is so mush better than just sitting and being inactive.  Thankfully, I have been currently Blessed with my youngest Son providing the willing hands and strength to tide me over, while enduring my learning how to navigate life on my own once again. I am so grateful for his assistance and presence.  There are a myriad of things that must be completed, like finishing the chicken coop and pen before Spring, planning the garden beds and future herb garden, trying to figure out the right balance of organic material to lighten this super sticky clay soil…my Son is opting for just hauling in loads of garden soil. Me? I’m looking at where I’m supposed to find the funds for that one…uh huh! I have organic llama poo and horse and cow poo all over the place for free. Just requires a little work to collect it and the llamas like to return to the same place if they can. I also have the leaves from the poplar trees, and the compost from the kitchen, plus the ashes from the stove; but it would take much more than that to deal with this soil. This is the type of  cling-on clay that when you stick a shovel into it, it comes up in 5 lb chunks stuck to the blade. You cannot just scrape this stuff off because it smears all over and you should try walking through it! You get your workout just trying to make it across the pasture. You start out with nice clean muckers (boots), and by the time you have walked across the way, you have managed to acquire another 40 lbs of accompanying mud.  Boy, is my butt ever going to get into shape!  At least one resolution is going to happen whether I try to or not. My luck..it will get bigger with all the muscle under the fat, LOL! But at least it will be in shape. Too bad that the politicians don’t utilize this stuff when they are going through their rehetoric…they could never get it off their hands and we would all know who was involved!

I have been meeting all my wonderful neighbors up here. They have stopped by with offers of help and the traditional cookies and cards. And I even spent New Years Day on a heavenly horseback ride with one of my neighbors through the valley here. It felt so good to be riding again and having the smell of horses on my clothes….I know, I know…. but it’s an old farm girl thing.  I have had the honor of having my life quite literally saved by the llamas that are here.

Here I was…me with all my preaching about the Woodfolk and such…. plain and simple…I blew it. I had taken my old dog out to do her business before I put the fence up around my yard and it was just sunrise. I should have been wearing a side-arm because of the rattlesnakes that grow to prize-winning size around here, but I thought that I would just take a couple of seconds…you know.  I have learned that Llamas are unique if they are out in the range grazing. They are the natural guardians of the herds and flocks and very little gets past them or their defenses. We have a wonderful assortment of  the brown and white ones here. The male I fondly call Tony ( get it? Tony Llama…yuk yuk!) Then there is Dolly(uh huh), Bobby, Daisy, Chrissy, Bright Eyes, and Little Egypt, with the newest one Prince, just being born a couple of days ago.. Each one with their own distinct and sweet personalities that I grew to love and welcome as they hung out in my yard and we got accquainted. But one thing that they have in common is their dislike and distrust of dogs. They cannot distinguish between feral dogs, coyotes, or wolves or just pets, so they just run them all off or try to play stomp the puppy with them. And they can get very enthusiastic about it, including knocking you down or spitting on you to do it also.  That’s understandable, it’s  their instinct to be that way and since I had not fenced to keep them out of the yard, they were looking at this as their territory. So there was a trick to allowing my dog to do her thing and avoid the attempted tap dance. My cat was raising a racket in the house over the fact that I had gone outside without her and so she was squawling at the top of her lungs calling for Mommy. All of a sudden, everything exploded into action at the same time. I had just rescued my dog from another attempted tap dance from the youngest girls of the herd, when Tony started blurting out this strange call and all the other llamas, bachelors and all, appeared out of nowhere placing themselves between me and the road. As I ran up the stairs with my dog to get inside, a huge male cougar came trotting around the corner on the road, calling in answer to my lovely squawling cat. And about 4 good leaps from where I had been standing with my dog, a female cougar bounced out of the brush and darted up to meet the male….she had me dead to rights.  Then all the llamas charged up the hill-side in hot pursuit after the cats. Tony who was once just an adorable leader of his herd is now my Buddy, as well as the rest of the herd! He hangs out around the place with his girls and grins over the fence at me, whenever he is in the area. And I sneak him and his girls goodies whenever I can. But that was a colossal mistake on my part….almost fatal-one that I won’t soon forget! It is unfortunate that in some counties and states, ranchers do not recognise llamas as being beneficial livestock, but instead exotic pets. Here is the same. These animals provide such a valuable service to the ranchers who have their cattle grazing in the area and do it instinctually. I consider it to be the rancher’s loss and ours as well.

  Also after the 5 ft fence was erected, I got to see a wolf in the wild! Thought my eyes were deceiving me when I was bringing in some wood. He was standing at the end of the drive, by the draw where the female cougar had been hiding. This draw that runs through my property is the natural Woodfolk highway to get from the highlands to the reservoir below. so it is nothing to be doing the dishes in the kitchen and look up to see deer, coyotes, etc moving up and down through it. But a Wolf? He was huge and the last Wolf in this area in the wild died in 1928. But there he was, a huge grey one, just watching. Then he just ghosted off in the fading daylight. I thought at first it must have been a Spirit Wolf…you know one that shows up with a special message.  But a couple of days later, my Son saw him also and so did another girl from the area. My neighbor called the wildlife office and found out that it was true…there was an actual Wolf that had just moved back down from a pack that was transplanted in Oregon. I was overjoyed! I did this little dance all over the place…an actual Wolf in the wild! The Woodfolk have been especially active this Winter due to the warm temps. We have Bears that are not hibernating, because it is too warm and so are out foraging for any type of grub. This makes it a problem when they want to raid your garbage can.  You learn very fast to either Bear-proof you trashcan, or place the can in your garage. They are opportunists and trash cans are lunch boxes to them. Plus you learn that you need to have a big dog around to chase off the Woodfolk who happen to stop by uninvited looking for a free dinner or to alert you to others in the area. My home now includes one very special big dog who does just that, and he is a fool for reflections and flashlights…he loves to chase them and will bowl you over if you happen to get in the way.  Since moving in 2 stray cats have adopted me and moved in also. They have been busily reducing the mouse and vole poplulation and providing lots of purrs and love to boot so they definitely earn their keep!

And so as it gets closer to daylight, I’m sitting here typing this entry into my blog and watching the gorgeous full moon floating across the sky through the huge glass windows that form the front of my home. The valley is lit with her light and is full of cows grazing with their calves at side, and Tony and the girls are just above the house standing guard over my home and the  herd. In the distance, you can here one coyote, everyone calls Laughing Jack, yipping down by the feed pens, and the rest of the pack calling in response, across the valley to the north.  I have one Great Horned Owl that is perched on the peak of the house, calling to its mate, somewhere up in the draw. And low-lying clouds have formed a cocoon around Pilot Rock, softly nestling it in a blanket with just the tip showing. The fire is crackling in the wood stove and the smell of smoke is lingering in the air from me stoking the flames. I have to get another armload of wood from off the porch and I think I will pull up a chair and drink a couple of mugs of hot coffee and just enjoy the whole scene from the safety of my kitchen this time. It’s 4 am and the only ones awake are an Old Crone and the Woodfolk…but that’s great for me! Enjoy this day everyone.  Peace and Blessings.

It’s All About Our Debt

Have you ever seriously sat down and reviewed your debts? I’m not talking about your monthly bills or budget; I’m speaking of your debts to Humanity. These are the ones that involve the intervention and or guidance from you that involve a pay-it-forward act. These debts have been accrued over your lifetime…be it long or short. They are often unknowingly accrued during childhood and adolescent ages. They involve a special person or persons who at the time you need it most, intervenes or guides you, or sets an example, in such a way that leaves a positive life-long impact upon you. These are the regular everyday people with whom you interact, and most often are the unsung heroes silently working in the wings. You are who you are today because of their influence in your life.

No, I’m not talking about the gang-banging  type either, or those who prey upon the innocent. These are people who for some reason saw something shine in you that resonated with them and they took the time to guide or advise you, for purely no other reason than the fact that they genuinely cared. You can see them out in the community everyday. They always have a smile or kind word and always seem to have the time to listen or care. It could be a Teacher, a Neighbor, or even a Step-Parent or Step-GrandParent. These are who I speak of.

I have been so Blessed to have several in my life. One of them was my Step-Grandmother (she passed many years ago). She came along when I was in the 6th grade; Grams had some wonderful guidance for me, and I credit her for a lot of who I am today. She helped me to keep on the “straight and narrow” and taught me about the working dynamics of families, and why people react the way they do. She was also a fountain of knowledge on making it on her own and raising 2 children as a widow…she knew how to make ends meet when there was not much to work with. She also was very familiar about the dynamics of  being the Second Oldest Sister. When you are the second-oldest, you usually inherit your older siblings clothing and your younger sibling’s chores. You become the Care-taker, tending to the needs of those while passing through life silently…invisibly…that is unless you cut up and really do something stupid. There are advantages to being the second oldest, most of the time you don’t have to make the mistakes the oldest one does, to understand the consequences. And also if anything goes wrong…if you’re not the proverbial scape-goat… it’s the oldest who is responsible because they were the one left in charge…lol!

My Grams entered my life at a time that I really needed someones help and understanding. I was withdrawing into a shell due to the dynamics of our family. My older Sister has a very strong personality, is a very gifted artist, and has gorgeous red hair, that was at the time to die for in my eyes. Everyone is drawn to her automatically, she always seemed to have it together. My youngest Sister is a stunner that took your breath away…gorgeous blue eyes and deep dimples…and a natural clown to boot. You can never get the last word in with her. She can leave you rolling in the aisles with her antics and charms.  I was the skinny, gawky, nerd that always had her nose in a book. There were jokes that were made about the fact that maybe I was really trying hide my nose also because it was sooo big. I always seemed to talk too loud in a high whiney voice that grated quickly on everyone nerves. Or talked too much or asked the wrong questions at the wrong time. I hated being around large crowds, because I always didn’t know what to say or do…and was terminally afflicted with foot and mouth disease…that is until Grams. Though I still am afflicted with Foot-In-Mouth, I can forgive myself now.

The summer of 1967 was an especially bad summer for me. I had pulled some pretty bad attention-getting antics in school, and had humiliated not only myself, but brought a lot grief to my family because of it. Then on top of it, I came down with a severe case of chicken pox that had managed to get inside my eyelids, so I had to wear patches over my eyes and stay inside….I was miserable and lonely and blind for several weeks until it healed up. It gave me plenty of time to think about the consequences on what I had done.

My Grandfather was a widower, who had remained single for 32 yrs after the death of his wife…my Grandmother, on my Mothers side. That year he found someone special that just lit up his life….Grams. I had never seen him so happy. I never got to meet my real Grandmother as she had died when my Mother was 4 yrs old. He had gone out with several women, most were dates that ended up as just friends to him. But most when they met us, wanted nothing to do with us, other than a long-distance casual phone call. It was a rowdy loud household that we lived in.  But Grams was different, right from the get-go she jumped right in and dispensed hugs and kisses and tons of common-sense advice and help. She never minced her words either…you knew exactly where you stood with her… but she did so in such a way as to inspire you to do better.

 She asked my Mother for permission, that summer, to allow me to spend a couple of weeks with her after I had healed up from the chicken-pox. She had not only seen how tense the situation was between me and my family, but knew why it had happened and how to cure the majority of it. This wonderful Woman didn’t owe me a damn thing, and just could have walked away; but she didn’t. She graciously opened her home to me and taught me all about Grandmothers and their duties and a persons duty to their community. She talked about growing up with 13 other children in her family and she was also the second-oldest and also the second sister to boot! She understood that I was needing a friend and ally, someone who truly understood the skinny gawky nerd. Someone who needed some positive one-on-one interventions. She took me out shopping and told me she needed some outside opinions on renovating her bedroom and purchasing a new TV. That was when I found out about her love of Sea Foam Green and Soft Coral Pink. We spent a lot of time pouring over paint samples and she allowed me to make the final choice. We spent hours looking for just the perfect spread, narrowing down the choice to a Chenille in Soft pink Coral. Then it was picking out the curtains and the accessories, carefully asking my opinion and honestly listening to what I had to say. After all was purchased; we next prepped and painted the bedroom, and during that time she gently talked to me about what I had done and what I wished to do to make it right. She explained to me about the meaning of Honor and what it meant to utilize it and Truth in all my dealings. And talked about what her hopes and dreams were for me.  Next she gave me her address and phone number with permission to call her anytime collect, if I needed someone to talk to. The next thing really surprised me…she threatened to kick my butt personally if I did not excel in my school studies, and make something of myself. She made good on it a couple of times in my teen years! But she never stopped being my biggest fan or doubting I could ever do anything. She was present when I graduated with Honors from High School, and celebrated my victories and guided me through my defeats throughout the rest of my life. I don’t think I ever told her that I was also her biggest Fan or that she made a huge difference in my life.

This is the type of debt to Humanity that I speak of. I was honored to be able to pay-it-forward to my Step-daughter in a very small way, and knowing her character, she will do the same. But just because I had this chance to step in does not erase my debt. Grams taught me that my debt is my duty one that you don’t walk away from. We owe it to everyone to pay-it-forward on the positive side every chance we get. Our society is hurting  just as bad as I was then and desperately needs Grams sort of intervention. The one that says…”Hey I got your back, and I’m always here for you”. The smiles, the hugs, the straight-talk, and genuine one-on-one conversations  and encouragements and listening with your arms wide open. At this Solstice many of us are so poor we cannot afford store-bought gifts , but we have an un-tapped account to balance towards our debt to Humanity….all it takes is just reaching out and getting involved. Why not give the precious gift of involvement in your community? Now is your chance to honestly pay-it-forward and start paying off your debt.  There has been a critical shortage of recognition and appreciation for those who care… let alone involvement….it’s all about our debt, folks. Not only that…it really it our duty.

To all the Un-sung Heroes, and Fair Ones who walk in Human form, I give my Thanks and my Heartfelt Gratitude, this Holiday Season. I am truly humbled in your presence. To my Grams and all my Blessed Friends, Family and those who cared to walk a while as Guides…I Love You All. Keep on Smiling and Believing with arms wide open and an eye towards our debt. Peace and Blessings Everyone.

The Wytchewood Crossing Dream

 This entry is the second of the blog entries that explains a re-occurring dream that I have had ever since I was 4. The dream always starts out the same. I am driving down a winding country road, that leads to a lake. The day is sunny and warm and there is a light breeze blowing. On my left, I drive past a blue house with white trim, and directly across the road is a white picket or plank fence with shadows of people on it. There are grassy rolling hills and cattle and horses grazing in the fields. Then I pull into a driveway that takes me way up the grassy rolling hills to a house with glass walls in between the living room and the kitchen. People are showing up from everywhere for some sort of meeting, and then the whole area explodes into flames. I turn and look down the valley. The sky has turned a dark bloody color and there are fire tornadoes and ashes and smoke that is choking the air, making it hard to breathe. Somewhere there are more explosions in the background and you can feel the concussions of the blasts and the ground is shaking from them and so are the windows. We know it is man caused. We have to get down to the lake, but part of the way is blocked by fire so we turn around and go back. The winds turn the flames away from the house and we end up staying there. Afterwards, more people show up and we are struggling to put out all the flames when a plane comes over the top of a mountain and crashes into the side of a plateau and explodes into a fireball. I turn and watch as a water tank or huge gas tank explodes and everyone is running  for cover because of the shrapnel and huge chunks of hot metal are falling all over the place. Then I turn and look at my house and more people are coming, carrying what they have left. Some are being put up in a boarding house at the beginning of my road, others are camping in tents by the lake, and some are staying with me. There are so many wounded and burned that we can’t help them all and I am trying desperately with others to find the rest of the survivors. For some reason I need to drive a bus or a RV that has blue gingham curtains, it is carrying women and children. We make it as far as the bottom of the hill but the road is blocked and we have to get out and walk up and over to get to my house and for help.  Everyone is in a state of shock. We keep trying to find out what happened and who is left but we cannot make it through on the roads because they are blocked. Eventually we do make it through to a completely changed world. Things are not the same, some places have to be deserted because of some reason I can’t seem to remember, others are gathering places to temporarily hold people and animals, others are going to be future homes and such. And the town eventually becomes known as The Grid.  It takes us years to finally reach the other side of the US and nothing is the same. Then my Guide will take my face in her hands and tell me those words…”Heal The Earth”. 

When I have this dream, each time more and more detail comes out. For some reason there is an emphasis on metal hand rails and wooden stairs that need to be rebuilt because they go to nowhere. There is an emphasis on a series of stars coming together [ones in the sky] to form a constellation and we are staring at it from a box canyon. And there is also emphasis on an old western town or city that will be on the edge of water when it wasn’t before. And a sloping parking lot to a building that is made of red brick and has curved walls.

Scan of 1975 house plans that I cut out

In 1975 I found a house plan that was printed in the Aurora CO. newspaper and cut it out and saved it. I drove everyone batty during that time because it almost looked like the house of my dreams except it had a chimney in the center of the window area. The house I own was built in 1978.  I’m adding a copy of that to this blog so you can see the similarity. And also the pictures of the blue house with white trim and the white plank fence that someone nailed silhouettes of people to that is right across the road. There is a Bed and Breakfast place that is at the beginning of the road to get to my house and if you follow the road all the way up, it ends at a reservoir, also behind the mountain side I live on, there is another reservior. There are several plateaus in the area and the grassy rolling hills with all the livestock.

 So now the scene it set, and even though I know we survive whatever happened, I’m truly nervous. Because if I have found and am living in this house that has haunted me since I was 4, the rest of the dream will surely come true also. I don’t know if the reason why the world has changed in my dream is because of my perception to it afterwards or if it has actually changed because of this event, either way for some reason this dream has been the catalyst for my move here. And for some reason it is of the utmost importance to “Heal The Earth” and whatever that entails. If someone has had any similar dreams, or understands what that means…Clue me in!!! Let’s talk because something big is going to happen in my life and those around me. Something that was big enough for me to dream about it for 53 years and it is a life-altering event. So feel free to speak up because I know I’m not the only one who has had these dreams. Peace and Blessings.

Prediction or Projection?

 These next 2 entries in my blog are about a series of dreams that have haunted me since I was 4. I wanted to be able to speak about this as a rational thinking person…open to all suggestions or possibilities.  And also to address 3 words that I have heard over and over since I was 4….specifically “Heal The Earth”. 

 I have had a very interesting and years long debate with Friends, Family, and anyone who would care to contribute over ESP and dreaming. For a dear friends part, he’s aware that there is a thing called ESP(extra sensory perception), but he’s not entirely convinced that it is so much a mystery; rather than the innate ability to project yourself forward or backward in a straight verses an arc time-line, to see that future or past event. He argues that even science has proven that time does not travel in a straight line-rather it travels in an arc, so someone who uses ESP, is just projecting themselves forward or backward out of  their current place in a straight-line, which would be a short cut so to say, circumventing the arc and this person is projecting him or herself in a straight line to a direct destination in time and space to see what is occurring.Wow!! The ability to separate yourself from your physical body and intentionally project yourself forward or backward in the time-line, to hover above a certain incident in time in that arc…..I find that thought utterly fascinating!

 For my part, I have always had ESP (mainly in dreams) since I was 4 yrs old, and was in a bad car wreck. But it was always with my Guide(a woman) and the Guardian(a HUGE soldier in complete uniform). The Guardian appeared on the hill just moments before we crashed and I pointed him out to my Mother.  He was intently watching us and then held out his hands as if in a sign to stop or lessen the damage. My brother, who was 2 at the time, saw him also, he screamed and said No! No!  The Guardian looked straight at me, and even though he was about an 1/8 of a mile away on a hill-top, I could see his eyes. And still to this day…if I close my eyes- I can recall the color and intensity of his eyes …the impact was that deep! He has always been there and most of the time I will never see him. But there is one exception…if I am in extreme danger. He shows up… He never says a word, he just shows up to silently warn me or protect me…I cannot help but watch him and follow his cue.  And believe me….I owe him!

 The Guide is another matter. She wears a white sort of gown with a pattern that runs across the bodice and down the front of the dress. The sleeves have fringe that can and will  turn to feathers. She wears a belt that has some sort of braided cord or leather–but instead of 3 strands there are 4 that end with tassels of actual corn the color of white, yellow, blue, and red.  Even though I could sense that She would never hurt me; I was terrified when she showed up. And I can’t stress this enough… I knew to the core of my being, she would never allow any harm to come to me…period!. I absolutely knew that NOTHING would or could harm me while She was there(nothing would think to or dare to). Instead I was terrified of what She showed me and how we went there! 

 When I was small, I could sense Her presence and that of the Guardian in the room with me at night. Even though I couldn’t see them at the time, visibly, I could if I closed my eyes. I don’t know if that makes any sense. Think of it as being blind and walking into a room with someone in there. Even if that person doesn’t make a sound you sense they are there…. your senses can sort of “see” them. After a while you just kind of get used to being able to sense their presence. I would do everything I could think of not to fall asleep- but sleep would eventually win out….all in the space of about 5 minutes. She would come through the wall and gently tap my forehead and literally separate me from  my sleeping body, and we would go walking or flying. Her entrance into my dreams always occurs the same way. She comes through the East wall of whatever room I’m in at the time. And you can smell her companions also, for she always comes with a huge bear with laughing eyes, and a wolf,  sometimes deer or elk, sometimes with a huge cougar, and a fish…(I know, I know) an actual fish that lives outside the water. She also carries a blue-white orb of light in her right hand, and this orb is not like the light of enlightenment. Instead it’s like a key that is used to travel from one place to the other.  I was terrified of the wolf when I was small, because when my Guide came through the wall,  she would take out his yellow eyes and place them above the door to my room in a dream, to remind me not to leave the room and to keep me safe.  And if we have to travel far in the dream, my guide will turn into an eagle complete with feathers and grab my arm in her talons and fly us to the destination she has in mind. Her companions always seem to keep up on the ground or maybe we are just all swept up in the energy and are transported at the same time.

   I can honestly say that I am probably Her most reluctant student! If you can visualize a cartoon version of a student digging her nails in the ground and screaming and kicking as she is being drug  all the way into the classroom….Ahem!    ….That’s me! It has taken me many years to understand just a tiny fraction what She has shown me. The one thing She keeps emphasizing over and over… ”Heal The Earth”.  For the longest time I tried to run away from it and do everything I could to not dream, to just try to forget it and blow it off…. that is as fruitless as trying not to breathe. Now I have learned to accept them and give myself permission accept  Her….and myself….but it is a work in progress…a lifetime of work.

 But what if my friend is correct? What if the Guide is actually an astral projection of myself, coming back time, to prepare me for some future event? I think that the idea is interesting. That would make astral projecting, the time travel that scientists have all been looking for. And would certainly provide answers and new discoveries and cures. But that theory also does not take into account the presence of my Guide AND the Guardian, and yes, they do know of and are aware of each other. They work with each other….not for-as a servant/boss….but with each other…each has a different function. They are 2 completely separate beings- and I say beings because while they are definitely human form; they seem to be able to shape-shift into whatever is necessary for the job. When I would try to deliberately focus on my Guide to see her with my eyes, I would become dizzy, because her eyes and skin and hair are a different color every time, but you know at the same time that it is Her. She laughed a lot about that and said not to worry because I was still blind….but soon I would learn not to see her with my eyes, but instead to SEE her with my being…”close your eyes and see with your senses…there is a whole other world that we really do not see or realize exists.”

  Ahem! Ever try to explain that one to your parents or friends? I tried…they still think I’m somewhat crazy, but too much about my dreams and too many of the dreams have come true…complete down to details of smells  and feeling the heat from flames, winds, etc. That was what distinguished these dreams from regular ones…the whole reality of them.   Mainly though–my Family and Friends just don’t want to hear about it anymore.  I have talked to several different Shamans and healers about the dreams trying to understand just what it is that my Guide meant with some of the dreams and some of what she has said, but the answer has always remained elusive until the actual event has happened.

For some reason, it wasn’t until my 50th birthday and I went through a Sweat, that the dreams became more insistent, demanding to be recognised. Repeating themselves over and over in more minute detail until I thought I would go crazy. I finally accepted the fact I was maybe being shown something very important and I have to really pay attention and decipher what her words mean.  I didn’t want to, but it was time to start. She said I was a Witness and a Healer…a kind of Bridge of sorts,  that is my job. I’m an observer that is here to bear record to all of this……[feel free at anytime folks to step in and help me out here....to record all of just what--I have no clue.] She would show me a series of events that are horrifying to see…I will be screaming and crying, frantically clawing her arms and hands trying to get away, but I never can. Instead She holds onto me and makes me watch the scene unfold.  Then afterwards she will hug me close and comfort me, and then bend down and take my face in her hands and look deep into my eyes and firmly say….”Heal the Earth!”

 Now may I at this time inject some sort of noise, say maybe… scratching on a record or something  to that effect?  Uh! Yeah! Right!…SAY WHAT???!!! Just what do you mean “Heal the Earth”??? Like how? And with what???!!! AND… Do you know what the normal reactions of Family and Friends or just ordinary people are? Scoffing, clearing their throats, sighing, shuffling their feet with uncomfortable postures and expressions, snorting, uncomfortable giggling, and them walking quickly away shaking their heads. Yeah Right, Earth Mother…you just go “Heal the Earth”!!!! Any credibility you may have had up till that point vanishes in the puff of a breath! So what to do? You become a Solitary!

 So this is the preface to the next Blog entry about the dream of how I know this house itself…..I’ll let you decide and Please! If you honestly know about this or what it means or have had a similar experience chime in here! Any help would be greatly appreciated. Peace and Blessings.

Karma Bombs, Re-occurring Dreams, And New Beginnings

I must apologise to everyone for not adding anymore entries into my blog. Call it a sign of the times, but so far as I know, there has not been one person in my circle of friends and family, who has not been undergoing radical changes in their own lives. Job loss, home loss, losing their savings in the markets, seemingly never-ending wars, etc. ; they all have produced results that have taken their toll. The stresses and such from this period we are going through are difficult enough; but many marriages and relationships have failed and will continue to fail under these harsh conditions. You either pull together or fall apart. Sadly, in the case of my 18 1/2 yr marriage, we failed in keeping it together.
The Hubbs was missing his family and friends. And while we both loved the farm life, the power struggles with different visions and goals made it almost impossible to enjoy any sense of peace with each other anymore.  The realization that our paths were diverging and going separate ways, was especially difficult for me to accept. We had tried in so may ways to rebuild the connection, but it seems the harder we fought against it and tried to remain together, the more we destroyed any hope of remaining even friends. It was like trying to permanently connect the same polar ends of a magnet.  But finally the knowledge, and acceptance that as dearly as I loved my Hubbs, that it was well and truly over, over-took me and almost brought me to my knees. I lashed out at everyone in pain and hid myself away in grief.

And so it was that Mama Karma unleashed the Karma Bomb in our complacent lives in May of this year.  My life, my family’s lives, our friends lives have all taken drastic turns, through a series of events. We are not even the same people we were just a few short months ago. And we are scattered to the 4 winds just as if it were a real bomb that was tossed inside a building of dust.  To say that I could never expect to find myself here all alone would be a lie. The evidence that our paths were taking different courses was right there in front of our eyes for years,  but we just couldn’t accept the outcome and so stubbornly kept trying, ignoring the warning bells and red flags.  That is why it has taken so long to write. I quite literally was stunned into silence and sank into a depression. I did not want to trash or rake my Hubbs over the coals. We have shared each others lives for too long for that. So I chose to wait until I could speak without sounding too raw, or bitter, or hurt.

 I wish only the very best for this man and his family and I know that in time we will each begin to heal and forgive the other. May he find the happiness and peace he longs for and is searching for, he certainly deserves that. And may I also find that , for our lives are far too short for anything else.

 An agreement was reached that we would cash out an annuity plan that the market was greedily eating and apply it to making our separation more fair and equitable.  I found and purchased a foreclosure home on 2.6 acres that was 32mi. away from the Holler. For the Hubbs had grown fond of the place and all the hard work he put into it, so it was only fair that he remain there. Next the Hubbs and I have spent the last 4 months cleaning up, painting and fencing my new home. It is a 3 story home, that quite frankly has haunted my dreams since I was a small child… but I will write more on that later,  for now suffice it to say that I live with my 2 cats, 2 dogs, and right now, my youngest Son, here at WytcheWood Crossing. My dream of making my own jewelry and raising my own organic garden and poultry offline is still strongly intack…just a little altered as I try to figure out how to make it happen with the new dynamics. It will require a lot of work on my part, but it is not impossible.  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Each day I grow a little more stronger and less afraid of being on my own, and I know I’ll be okay….in fact I know for sure we all will. I saw that in the afore-mentioned dream.

 Change comes hard to those who are set in their ways and so does forgiveness. I’m no exception to these rules. But Folks, if I have learned any thing, it’s this;……It’s okay to be angry and hurt, but it’s not okay to dis-respect your spouse of many years, and the sooner I forgive and let go, the sooner we all heal and balance is once again achieved. Hanging on in anger to the past only intensifies and unnecessarily prolongs the pain and prevents the healing process from proceeding. Let there always be just a little more room for healing and forgiveness in all our lives. I refuse to allow my relationships to devolve down to publicly making it a game or a win/ lose or wrong or right situation…it never was or will be necessary to stoop so low.  I’ve found out that it’s okay to still admit that you Love your departing Spouse or Significant Other and maybe always will. There is a lot of history between us, our relationship was real and valid and still is. But just like everyone here on the planet, we are evolving, and sometimes that means growing in separate directions…and that is okay too. It truly hurts when that relationship splits, but at least we both, (the Hubbs and I) want to try to set an example and display some compassion and respect to each other during this difficult time….trust me- there was a time not too long ago I was screaming like a shrew and he was saying some vile things….but that is not what either one of us want anymore… it’s honestly time to heal.  And most importantly to me the last thing and probably the most difficult, is allowing it to be okay to forgive and genuinely wish the other spouse well….somedays are better than others. So for right now, I’m going to leave it at this…New Beginnings on the Horizon. I feel as if I’m emerging from a cocoon and just starting to pump up my wings. The Winds of Change are beginning to blow. It is definitely a scary time for me. For 18 1/2 yrs I’ve had my Hubbs at my side who shared the way with me, but time is marching on and so are our lives…just in different directions. For now, my path has become that of a true Hermit and Solitary. But as with all things, it is only a temporary phase and there are always brighter tomorrows.  And yes my Precious Friends; now that the ice is broken and I have recovered my voice; there will be new entries. I wish you all well and look forward in Gratitude and Love to the future. Peace and Blessings;)

Woodfolk And Some Common Sense

Mercy! Look at the time!! It used to be that there were times I’d say that and several minutes had managed to stretch out into a couple of hours….then it was days…then weeks…months…till now…you get the picture. It usually starts off with a good case of writers block, and just a hint of depression, due to SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and escalates from there until you realize that waaay too much time has passed. I apologise….this year has been bad for that.

We slammed into summer, complete with temps in the 90′s for a couple of weeks, and went right back down to the high 60′s low 70′s for the past couple of days. My allergies have been yanking sinuses into extreme contortions and I sound like a bull frog right now. The Hay fever season is producing phenomenal results due to the long wet spring here. The allergies seem to be winning….that is until I take my HAS pills. Seems to be the only thing that work without killing myself with all the chemicals. While I occasionally suffer from hay fever, this year the pollen count in our area has gone into the extreme for most of these last couple of weeks…..even some of  those who normally don’t seem to get hay fever–has it now! Anywhoo….

I had the honor of taking our young friends from here, up into the woods and teach them how to hunt for Morels and how to clean soak and dry them. The first time we went, we found a few…..enough for a dinner of fresh mushrooms that night apiece, but it was still early. Over the next few times, we were able to collect quite a few…..but with being slammed by the high temps….it has been difficult but not impossible. I still want a few more in my storage for the coming year and with this cool spell here I should be able to collect just enough. The Hubbs and my Son had the old wood truck and during the time our friends and I collected mushrooms; they cut wood for the coming winter, and loaded the rounds into the back of the truck and we met them for lunch, and had a tail-gate picnic on one occasion. It was absolute Heaven to be roaming the forest floors and be back in the woods again! Our excursions were full of non-stop chatter, by one of our Friends, punctuated  with laughter and the occasional delighted shout of ”Hey! I found one!” Then we would move up the road to another area to search and compare the findings in our bags just like children comparing their hauls on Halloween. The air thick with the smell of the firs and pines and the buzzing of the bumblebees, chattering of the chipmunks and squirrels, and the birds calling and singing out the boundaries of their territories….what a wonderful place! We flushed several deer who were also hunting the mushrooms, and on one occasion encountered a black bear, who fortunately preferred to circle around us and just watch us because the Hubbs and my Son chose at that time to appear and join us for a picnic lunch.

It is at this point I want to interject some common sense here. Those who are familiar with the ways of the Woodfolk at this point know the near fatal mistakes that we made, and I count myself fortunate that an encounter with the bear was a near miss, because we did everything wrong when we first went up there. Let me tell you some of  the rules of the Woods that I memorized by heart when I was a child:

1. Always be aware of your surroundings and where you are in proximity to your vehicle and each other and the Woodfolk. Do not ever wander away out of ear shot of the other and always carry a whistle and water.(don’t count on cell phone reception or walkie talkie reception)

2. Listen! As long as the chatter and singing of the Woodfolk is continuing, you are fine, but if you hear sudden screeching, crashing in the brush around you, smell of a garbage can or a musty smell, hear everything go quiet, sense that you are being watched; call everyone or blow that whistle long and loud and get into your vehicle and leave the area.

3. Never assume that the Woodfolk have abandoned their babies! And never try to pick them up or touch them! I have personally seen those sweet deer, bear, and chipmunks, and even birds inflict some very serious and in one case fatal injuries, on those who tried. They are Mothers defending their young and you are in their house, playing by Mother’s rules.

4. Women, this is for you…..If you are having your menses, and choose to be in the woods, be especially watchful. And stick closer to your vehicle. Whether you are aware of it or not, every Woodfolk in the area is aware that there is a female in heat and may act accordingly. You just may bring in the male Woodfolk who are looking for that female, or be challenged by another female who sees you as a threat invading her territory. Please remember that when you go into the Woods you go on Mother Earth’s terms with her rules…there are no exceptions to that one basic rule of mammals. Respect that.

5. Use your common sense about the local conditions. Understand that if there is a long wet Spring or a prolonged drought, those Woodfolk are behind in their own feeding which is necessary to their own survival, and are apt to be a little  less cautious about their means of accruing that food. Don’t leave your windows down, picnic out, or trash and food scraps scattered about…that is a personal invitation sent by you to them and they just may take you up on it.

6. Make LOTS of noise! Wear bells, talk, whistle, sing, and stay in groups of at least 2. Most encounters are by surprise and Woodfolk act just like any other folk when startled…by a fight or flight reaction. And never put yourself in-between them and their young!  Believe me, they most often would much rather not chance an encounter with you. Those usually end in their death…so do everyone a favor and let them know you are there.

7. If there is an encounter…DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT! That is an aggressive challenge. Do not run…you become prey and you cannot outrun them. Unless it is a Woodfolk of the deer and elk and moose family… climbing a tree is useless also. They are far better climbers. Back away and walk quickly back to your vehicle if you can….the rest if there is a physical confrontation, depends upon you and your response to fight or flight; we all react differently. Most generally Woodfolk will do a bluff charge because they want you to just leave them alone…that is all.   When it is safe,[{Or at the onset}, sometimes the piercing sound of a whistle that hurts their eardrums is enough deterrant...either way listen to your instinct] blow on your whistle as loud and long as you can to notify the others to return immediately to the vehicle and leave the area! If you see any others, who are entering the area or you run into when you are leaving; let them know also and notify the authorities so that they can issue warnings and avert or minimize the contacts and watch the area. And when returning to the vehicles, stay in groups….the more the merrier….do a headcount….if any are missing, honk the horn long and loud and then listen for a response, whatever you do….stay in a large group!

There are a few more also. But those are the most important for just doing day-trips up in the Woods and you are not experienced with dealing with the local Woodfolk. Don’t allow the rich and wonderful experience of being in the Woods to be clouded by a bad encounter that was of your own doing. Respect them and they will respect you. 99.9% of the time, you will never encounter Woodfolk, but if by chance you do and you go in remembering these things, the encounters will be brief and both parties leave, unharmed. I’m not promising you that these rules will save you 100% of the time, there are exceptions in every case.  Take what you need, use what you take, and waste nothing. Always follow Mother’s rules, especially on the last one….clean up after yourself! But for the norm…be wise and be gentle and learn to coexist and share with all the love and respect you would extend to your own family in their house when you visit them.

Now go out there and gather some of those wonderful Morels! Bon Appetite! But most of all, savor the richness and beauty our Woods have to offer us, and respect those who live there also. And use common sense at the same time. Please, Please, Please, be willing to teach and share your love with others, to allow the legacy and bounty of the Woods to survive long after we are gone. With wise husbandry of the resources to ensure the safety and survival of not only the Woodfolk but the Humanfolk as well, we can undo the damage and coexist with each other. But it will take time and dedication. Peace and Blessings Everyone!

IT IS TIME!

I know! I know! Its been pitiful–me neglecting this blog and allowing life to steal my voice. I’ve been trying to understand just what is going on with people these days. This over-whelming condition of their heart, the blatant lack of compassion. The lack of empathy and understanding of my own countrymen and others around the globe, in the face of all the suffering and loss of others; has quite frankly left me stunned and foundering. Where is our common sense….at least?

So here I am once again self-righteously dragging my little soap box out and saying it again with poetry:

It Is Time

When wrong is called right;

And daytime called night.

And death is called life;

It is time!

When the innocent cry;

To deaf ears on high.

And there’s no answers why;

It is time!

When it’s honorable for

Corrupt Leaders to wage war;

Just to even a score.

It is time!

When only Elite prosper;

While still filling their coffers,

With the best the poor offers.

It is time!

When sane minds filled with lust,

Rape the ones that once trust;

Turning lives into dust;

It is time!

Those once thought above the law,

And without pedigree flaw,

Used to taking it all?

It is time!

With deaf ears and blind eyes,

Their mouths spewing out lies;

Private jets, Corporate skies;

It is time!

When the top ten percent thrives,

While the rest of Earth dies,

To support their own sadistic drives;

It Is Time!

When those lacking compassion,

With their words and actions,

Condemn suffering as distraction;

It Is Time!

Time for the common man;

To rise up – make a stand.

Their own destiny command,

It Is Time!

Learn how to use your voice,

That you do have a choice.

You’re not pawns to exploit;

It Is Time!

Loose now, Karma and Fate!

To set wrong records straight.

Justice Served? It’s a date!

It Is Time!

And when Victories savor,

Would you do me a favor?

To Love Earth, Self and Neighbor?

It Is Time!

Time to use your own head,

To use reason instead.

Not believe lies you’re fed;

It Is Time!

We are just like each other,

And the Earth is our Mother,

Equally Sister and Brother;

It Is Time!

Time when Simple and Sage,

Find that the “End of Mans Age”,

Simply put means…

Time to grow…Turn the page!

It Is Time!

(C) 2011

So now once again, I shall drag my little soap box away and put it up….It Is Time!

Peace and Blessings Everyone.

Catching Up and Colds and Cold

Have you ever gone through a period where everything you try to say is bound to come out sounding wrong? I have been suffering from Mercury’s retrograde, bigtime! That plus the dreaded Writer’s Block! In between all the natural disasters, the springtime routine start-up of the farm season, a new Grandbaby, and colds and the flu…I think I can honestly say that besides the words coming out wrong….life has been on speed dial!
Most of our time here on the farm has been involved in moving the chicken and turkey coops to a new and better area…downwind from the house and trying to figure out just when the right time to rototill the garden would be. Either it’s extreme mud-bogging or frozen. I know that somewhere around here Spring was supposed to start, but we have yet to find it. Plus I’ve been feeling run down from the colds that my Son and Grandson have decided to pass our way. Normally, I don’t get colds or the flu, but this year I allowed myself to become run down and tired and as a result, my immune defenses suffered. Need to go back to my teas for help. So even as I write, I am still sniffling from allergies and recovering from a cold that I got from spotting my Son when he had the flu and taking care of our Grandson while his baby Sister was born. Isabella Rose was born April 14 and weighed 8 lbs 7 oz and 21in long….. exactly one year and one day apart from her brother…actually 13hrs…..OOOOHHHH Boy! Does my Son and his Significant Other have their hands full? OOOHHHH! Yeah! In more ways than one. And of course Bella already has everyone wrapped around her teeny tiny and beautiful finger….that is everyone except her Brother. Poor little guy is going through the green-eyed days.  He is slowly learning that we all still love him just as much and more; and is slowly starting to come around…but he is still very upset over her appearance. And I smile as I listen to my Son and his Significant Other talk about how they are re-thinking the big family idea–Reality Check!….take 2 Babies under the age of 2….complete with the lack of sleep, one learning how to walk-the other not, both in diapers, not enough hands, etc…I knew Wisdom was going to show her face sometime! LOL!

 Now about my Granddaughter…..she is beautiful! A full head of silky golden hair, and blue eyes, with a perfect rosebud mouth. She lives up to her name and then some! And Nana herself is tickled pink to know that Bella is going to have her big Brother as her biggest fan, and defender, and playmate…these two can’t help but be close.
As I write this, the first light of dawn is just starting to give a hint across the mountain tops…..it actually cleared last night and froze everything…it’s 22.1 F so it’s pretty chilly out there. I can imagine that the fruit growers are scrambling to light the smudge pots or turning on the fans and sprinklers to save their crops. And finally, the meteorologist is calling for at least a week of fair warm weather! I think we have had just 3 days of sunshine since the quake in Japan….and look at the Midwest and South, with their tornadoes just starting and flooding, the worst is yet to come. We still have hurricane season to go through too! So for now, I’m grateful for the sunshine and the bazillion weeds that are going to sprout overnight complete with matching mosquitoes! It’s time to get out the Essential Oils and start mixing up a batch of bug repellant, because this year is going to have a bumper crop with the extended wet season.

We have our new batch of our Broad Breasted Bronze (say that fast 3 times)  turkey chicks in, along with a couple of new Rhode Island Red chicks, and our meat bird chicks will be coming in next week. We will be in full swing here before the end of May…like we ever slowed down! I am still working on getting all my herb garden in this year; but the going is slow due to the weather and illness. But it sure feels great to be back out working in the garden and playing in the dirt! It’s been too long. I’d be planting by now if I could figure out how to attach snorkels to the seedlings and seeds! But we’ll be able to do some catching up if the weather stays nice. Plus all the larva and cut worms and grasses that I pull up from the herb garden go to the chickens. I keep a bucket close by and whenever I encounter one or earwigs or whatever, I toss it into the bucket and carry it out to feed to the chickens as a treat….greedy girls that they are! And roosters too! They respond in kind with healthy eggs. Just now the roosters are crowing in a contest as to who is the loudest, while several meadowlark are sorting out their territory boundaries. We have a family of swallows that have taken up residence in a couple of our bird houses, while another one is taken over by a family of western blue birds who are trying to decide if this is the right spot or not….I’m hoping so…..they are such beautiful birds. The sun is just peeking up over the crest and has yet to hit the heavy frost that coats our porch rails and grass to create that special moment I spoke about before. The cats are chasing each other around the yard and tumbling around and a pair of mag pies are teasing them and one of our dogs to distract them from the dog food bowl while the other feasts on the food. They are tag-teaming each other and getting fat in the process. Mt Shasta is sitting pretty with her plushest coat of snow wrapped snugly about her.  And my prisms are now shooting rainbows across the office walls as the sunlights first rays kiss the farm good morning! Good morning world! It is truly a beautiful day!

To my Granddaughter Isabella; I give this Blessing;

Grow Child; to become the beautiful woman you will be. But look not to your outward shell to define who and what you are inside. Instead walk the path to True Knowledge with your Brother. Do not allow others to tell you what to think, or believe, how to act, how to dress after you are grown. You are smart enough to do those things yourself. Instead keep your heart and mind open to all things possible and learn your own Truth yourself. Learn to be True to yourself and know that you are not alone…we are always here for you and love you dearly. By Empathizing and displaying True Compassion and Love for others, you will find the path that you are meant to walk and it is as natural as breathing. That is where you will find your Peace and True Happiness. Stay Strong and Centered and you will do just fine. What I wish for your Brother and your Cousins; I wish for you also and vise versa for you are all equal. You are all so special and near and dear to my heart; you will always have my love. And when confused, listen to your intuition. Just stand still and listen the answer is there right in front of you.

My Granddaughter Isabella Rose

Anywhoo I best be getting up and moving my bones before they lock in this position. My heart goes out to those who have suffered and are doing so now and will to come. This will pass, the cycle of life always moves forward. But you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and Blessings;)

The Lesson of Gaman

 

日本語

 

Japan; I have not ignored or forgotten you! How can I? We stand on opposite sides of the Pacific Ocean. Almost exactly across from each other. I have spent most of my time here watching in horror all these tragedies that have befallen you and my Brothers and Sisters over there. One right after the other, the tragedies have not ceased since the earthquake and subsequent tsunami.
Everyone is racing to contain the meltdown at the 6 reactors that have been damaged. Volunteers are stepping forward to sacrifice their lives to stop it that others may have a chance to live.
My heart goes out to all of those who have suffered loss and will suffer because of this ongoing situation for many generations to come. Somehow my paltry donation is like spitting on a large damaged, dirty window to try to make it clean and whole. I feel helpless and frustrated, that I can’t do anything enough to help you and heal you. And yet once again, you have taught me a very profound lesson…the lesson of Gaman.
Gaman-to endure, without complaint, and with dignity. To put others needs before your own for the good of everyone and to ensure survival with dignity, respect and honor.
I am humbled by your direction and teaching as a nation; in your response to this situation. There is no looting, no fighting. Only a steady stream of survivors coming together to share what little food, water, and heat, they have with each other under very cold, freezing temps.

You Japan; it is you, that has been seemingly chosen to teach the rest of humanity how to behave during this type of situation…it is a lesson that the rest of us could sorely use right now.
While the rest of the world would have devolved into chaos [check our recent history], grabbing guns and killing each other for anything…you choose Gaman as your response. And quietly pick up the pieces and gather your children and elders together and rebuild again…thankful for what you have left and for every single survivor. Clearly this has not been the case with Katrina, the floods, tornadoes or fires, or other disasters, we have been afflicted with. Ours was and sadly, still is a dog-eat-dog response with racism, social status, and a general sneering at those who were the victims. For the most part, we all seem to feel the need to Lord it over the victims and say they somehow deserved their suffering and loss because of whatever flavor of the month justification we can think of at the time. We have become so smug in our “significant standing” as an “US citizen”, and being “superior”, that we fail to see our reflection staring back at us in the mirror.

 You won’t hear a word from the politicians over in Japan about…”Well this is your fault for living where you did.” As a matter of fact…they have already acknowledged some culpability for substandard or faulty plans. We still won’t own up to Three Mile Island.  You won’t hear that “This was caused by some judgement from an angry God and because I escaped… I am therefore better than you…you are the sinner singled out for punishment.” You will never hear another citizen in Japan, whining, that they don’t think it’s fair to have to pay in any way for this disaster or about volunteering to help…they don’t think twice. You won’t see religious groups parading up and down with placards and bullhorns claiming this as a judgement by their God for accepting a human being as being an ”un-righteous human”. Nor do they have to worry about the fact that they are going to get looted. If a precious possession is found that belongs to someone they know or even if they don’t…chances are they will search out that person to return it to them, knowing how much happiness and comfort that would bring them; to steal it would bring dishonor. They lower their prices for vital supplies; sharing and understanding that this is a time to come together for the common good..but not the US.
We can be guaranteed to respond with a predatory attitude of capitalizing on misery and the victims themselves…the law of supply and demand…”Hey everyone has a right to make a buck…right?” SHAME!
We look at those who help out freely as some sort of losers group and seek to find a scam to separate them from what we worship so much…Money! Even now you can see it on the web-sites. Everyone grab your guns cause no-one is going to get what you have! And if they do…you are a loser because it’s survival of the fittest!  You even discuss tactics to prey on others! SHAME!!
Too soon we are going to be undergoing our testing again. We are standing on the tracks of Karma again and this time she is roaring at us. Is anyone listening? If everyone will kindly remember that after the earthquake and tsunami of 2004/5 in Tahiti and that area…the following summer; we were hit with Katrina and Rita. I don’t know, but it seems there is some correlation between the two. Right after one severe quake hits… in the northern hemisphere 2 noticable things occur;

1. We are immediately hit with a line of severe weather here. [we received 3 1/2 feet of snow in Reno at the time 2004/5 totally unheard of and out of no where] and now we are currently undergoing a squall line that has dumped around an inch of rain here in 48 hrs with hurricane force winds in some areas and with more on the way…and we are on the dry side of Mt. Shasta.
2. We are then followed by a severe tornado/ hurricane season the following summer. We already know what happened 2005;
Let’s see if this remains true this year.
Why don’t we as a nation, finally do something that befits us as being a leading-edge, intelligent human species, that resides in one nation upon this planet? One that might help to restore our stained and tarnished reputation? One that shows that we have finally evolved in growth and compassion and understanding, rather than being looked upon as being a bottom feeder, or carrion eater super-power? Let us learn this lesson that Japan has taught us of Gaman. Let us teach this to our children, our communities, and each other. Rather than what is currently being flaunted as being a “Patriotic American” that parades themselves in front of a camera claiming “good job” for nothing.  That is nothing but serving up predatory misery on a platter while grabbing their guns! YeeHaw!
We are no better than anyone else on the face of this earth. The world looked to us for direction during Katrina…how did we conduct ourselves? What did we teach the rest of the world? Now turn and look across the Pacific Ocean at Japan. What are they teaching the world? Who do you think failed the lesson here? [clue..not Japan]
Do you not find it significant that during this world crisis, that a report was released that told about how our millionaires for the most part feel that they do not have enough money to live comfortably on 7 mill or so?…Look at Japan my friend! Money will not save those who are giving up their lives to save…probably quite literally, the health and lives of those in the upper northern hemisphere! Do you care? Or instead giggle and say better him than me…sucka!  I dare you to walk up to the radiation being emitted or into any natural disater and throw those dollars at Mother Earth…see if you will get a special pass to live! I don’t think Mother Earth really cares about them or is open to bribery! They are nothing more than figures on a paper that are important only to you…and what this shows is what is important in your heart! But your actions…don’t speak so well either, do they? And how about the rest of us? Would it not be better for everyone to come together and save the life boat that we are all in rather than tear it apart and hope to survive in shark infested waters clinging to a piece of wood, just because we are so selfish, heartless, and greedy?
I’ve made my choice. I shall strive everyday to live up to the character and heart that has been displayed here by Japan, during this crisis. I have lit candles and incense and bow in honor to the sacrifice that is currently going on by those brave souls who have lost so much and for the lives that may be lost inside those reactors…it will probably end that way. If the radiation dosage is too high, they will never hold their loved ones in their arms again…they very well may be be sealed inside the reactors, but in any case they will never be allowed to be held by them again because of contamination and the resulting sickness. I can only hope to display a fraction of the Gaman they have!  So I light candles and incense for the lives lost and do so knowing that Japan cannot right now, they have to wait until this is all over. So I will do it for them. Not as an insult, but to honor them in my own way…I would hope that others would do so also.

 We have to start looking at each other from the perspective as a fellow Brother and Sister of the Human Race first, rather than a sucker with dollars attached to what we consider the value of anothers life. Our testing is coming round again…let’s see if we learned anything! I wish you Peace and Blessings, my Friend.

Community Ethics and Politics

Normally, I prefer to watch the goings-on in our wonderful community; in silence. I prefer to allow my conduct, and willingness to lend a helping hand, to speak for me. We recently had an incident that occurred, that left me completely shocked and bewildered.
We have a problem with what is considered appropriate conduct with our First Responder’s and what is not.
I’ve spent most of my life working in the Medical Field. It has been dedicated to alleviating the suffering of those who are in need, by providing my patients with the best care and atmosphere for healing. I don’t care who you are, what you may be like out in the community, your politics…whatever; if you are in my care, you can rest assured that anything that I see, hear, or have direct knowledge of concerning you will never be disclosed. And I expect the same from my colleagues.  Your medical care and information is yours, and I’m like an absolute Tasmanian Devil, if any patients privacy is breached! Your privacy and information is  protected by both State and Federal Laws. This incident also calls into consideration what type of personal Ethics are to be allowed by our Public Servants.
Anyone who has worked as a First responder, or as a Medical Care Provider knows that there are always certain risks of injury to themselves, when a patient is suicidal or has mental health problems…it comes with the territory; I myself have been injured several times. But do I get angry and take it out on them?….Of course not! They can say and do some pretty damaging things until they can be settled down. But eventually; things come around and they can go back out into the community, dignity intact, as healed and whole as we can make them. To me, personally, the idea of someone disclosing any of that to the public is absolutely kicking that individual when they are down.  But to do this to set an example of the consequences of  drug use, by a person who is not qualified to make a medical diagnosis but acted in the capacity of a First Responder?? This young man had Mental Health issues, and he was saying that in his opinion it was because of drug abuse. It turns my stomach to think that this is what our beloved local Sheriff did recently, because up until that point I supported him and what he was doing.
He had responded with some deputies, to a young mans home. This young man was suicidal and had mental issues. In the process of subduing the patient, 2 of his deputies were injured. Happens all the time unfortunately.  When they had delivered this patient to a local medical facility, the patient was asking for his prescription[ (which has been argued as being valid)...granted at the top of his lungs.] That does not matter. I don’t care if that patient had a 76 piece marching band and a mega-phone…what you see and hear are off-limits for discussion outside in the public.  He was in no way capable of signing a patient release form or giving permission to our sheriff to speak about what had just happened, what his conversations were, etc.  Even now there is still a question of competency. But 2 hours later, our sheriff disclosed everything about the incident (except the patient’s name) in a city council meeting as a platform for his war on drugs. He feels that by withholding the patients name he was allowed legally to do so, and he was “upset” at this patient for injuring his deputies. He has stated that he will continue to do this and give the benefit of his experience and does not feel that even an apology is appropriate. While several individuals at the meeting called him on it. They were ridiculed and derided for speaking out against our sheriff as being law enforcement hating individuals which clearly was not the case. I’m not here to defend what this patient did or did not do, or to dictate his course of treatment or political platforms. I’m here to defend a member of our community, who at a time when he is not even able to defend himself, our sheriff felt he had a right to blab about private and confidential patient conversation and treatments, to the public, because it served his own interests. I cannot accept that….he broke the law. If this was just some rowdy person whooping it up and injured the deputies…that is one thing. But that was not the case.
I know in this day and age how high the passions run when it come to political stances; but let us not cross the line and start allowing these types of situations to continue.
This was at the very least a horrendous breach of Ethics, and abuse of Public Trust.
I don’t know who this patient is…never met him…but it seems that there is no one but a handful of our community that is willing to speak up about this. (And yes, I am one of them).
This young man has family members here in the area, we all live here. I’m sure that the humiliation they felt was pretty complete; and if not, I feel it for them. We all have a right to expect a certain degree of privacy from our First Responders, and an exemplary degree of Ethics when dealing with patients and people when they are at their worst. I’m sure that you would be shocked and humiliated to find out after you or a family member were discharged from a Medical Facility, That the event had been discussed by your Responders in full detail (except your name) to your City council meeting as a reason for anything. How would you feel if you went into a restaurant and found these people discussing your medical records, conversations, and just generally adding their 2 cents worth to it? Do you find this acceptable?
While I know our community is very small and generally everyone knows “who did what to who for 5 jellybeans” do we really need this type of conduct from someone we trust to help us also? Do not think I’m singling out the sheriff, if he were in the same position as this young man, I would be saying the same thing.  I think our sheriff is a fine man, and is doing a great job in some areas….but he and the rest of the First Responders need to understand this is an area you cannot and will not be allowed to cross into. We are not that voyeuristic and self-serving! And except for a self-promoting agenda  what purpose would this serve? This is crossing into a place that I know hits a sore spot but when it come to medical privacy let what you see or hear in a medical facility otherwise be unspoken when it concerns another member of your community…this could be you that this happened to. Peace and Blessings.